just by the change
of tone in your
be with someone
who loves the
you hate the most
fall inlove with
looks at you and
knows they don’t
want anyone else
I know that nutrition shakes taste disgusting, but
I’ve realized that some days that’s better than nothing.
I know that my medication tastes like poison if I don’t
swallow it fast enough. I know that when I see my friends
I should be happy, but I can’t remember any of it. It’s
like I’m not really there. I know that weekday nights
are lonely and they are spent watching sitcoms
while my dad snores. I know that I worry about
our electricity bill because I can’t seem to live
without background noise. I know that people
have no problem dealing with me but I can’t
seem to deal with myself. I know that people
will stay up until 3 a.m. but no one is
willing to wake up at 5 a.m.
I know that during nights the loneliness
and darkness is suffocating
but these days, it seems to be
the only thing that can touch me.
On days like these, I’m terrible
at living but I don’t want to die either.